Harmoniousmatch DotCom
by mkim57
Summary: This is a Season 9 story. This is what might have happened if Harm and Mac had finally given up on finding a significant other, the old fashioned way. smile
1. Chapter 1

-1Harmoniousmatch DotCom

Chapter 1/?

Disclaimer: I don't own JAG or any of its characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations, businesses or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.

A/N: This story will contain of Cece's 08' Challenge lines from January-September. This story begins right after the episode, 'Secret Agent Man'.

A/N: MCRD: Marine Corps Recruit Depot.

A/N: Thanks to Karen for proofing for me, but I added tons to this chapter 'after' her proofing, so don't blame her for any mistakes.(smile)

October 15, 2003

Harm's Apartment

North of Union Station

Harm sat in front of his computer in his quiet apartment. He had just returned from 5 mile run. His running schedule was suffering as a result of his new job but he still did the best he could to maintain. One thing was sure, he wouldn't be participating in any marathons for awhile. In the past, on his free weekends, when he returned from a run, he'd call Mac to see if she had any plans. Their conversation wasn't usually about anything special, it just seemed the natural thing to do. But, that was before Paraguay, he was beginning to feel as though he would forever see his life as pre-Paraguay and post-Paraguay.

After showering, he threw on his favorite jeans and a t-shirt and made his way to his desk. As he sat down he noticed that the sunlight in the room reflected his t-shirt's large block letters, 'Parris Island MCRD' on his computer screen. He hadn't even thought about which shirt he'd put on. Mac had given it to him as a joke. If you cant be a Marine, Harm, you can at wear the t-shirt. He smiled at the thought but then wondered if he probably shouldn't just get rid of it, but disposing of everything that he owned that conjured a memory of Mac, would take him a week. He didn't really want to get rid of everything anyway. He still had a lot of good memories of Mac, in better times, and nothing would change that.

He wasn't sure why he was at his computer. He'd checked his e mail earlier in the day, he supposed it was force of habit. So much of his work at JAG had required that he be at his computer, this just seemed the right place to be when he had a free moment.

He surfed the net for awhile, catching up on the latest news since he'd been out of the country. He skipped through the partisan political garbage, the next election was over a year away. It seemed it began earlier and earlier every election cycle. He'd thought of having a newspaper delivered, like a normal human being, but the delivery would leave an indicator of whether or not he was in the country, so he decided against it. He was starting to behave like a spook...a person that he never, in his life, believed he'd be.

Harm thought of his new partner, or partner-of-the-moment, Beth O'Neil. He'd cryptically alluded to his relationship with Mac, to her. He'd hinted that it didn't go well and that it was over. She told him he wouldn't know if it was 'over' the relationship, until he saw her again.

'No chance of that' he thought. He and Mac had gone their separate ways, he didn't know if he'd ever see her again, at least, not any time soon.

The news page had the usual spam flashing around the periphery of the page. 'Harmoniousmatch DotCom' caught his eye. Harm frowned, thinking that anyone who had to resort to getting online to get a date, had to have something fundamental missing from their lives.

As he sat there, scanning the page, it occurred to him that the words, 'something missing' very accurately described his life, as it was now. There was a gaping hole in his life now that he wasn't in the Navy anymore. He was not at JAG, not with anyone that he considered a friend. He knew he needed to get in touch with Bud and Harriet, but doing that now was just too painful. Seeing them only reminded him of all he'd lost and what he might never have. How did anyone who worked for the Company get a sense of camaraderie with people who couldn't even acknowledge that they knew each other? Webb had welcomed him to the 'brotherhood', but it sure didn't seem to be a brotherhood, to him.

Harm brought the cursor over the advertisement that touted a 'perfect match' for anyone who gave their service a try. Harm had begun feeling skeptical but then impulsively, he clicked on to the site. What the hell…what did he have to lose, anyway? He didn't have to obligate himself in any way. It said so, right there on the ad.

He went through the application, step by step, giving them only as much information as he felt necessary and safe. As he finished registering and sent his information away, his phone rang. Deciding to let his machine pick it up, he heard his own voice instruct the caller to leave a message,

and then he heard her voice…

"Harm? Um, this is Mac…again. I know you've been pretty busy…..with the new job...but, I was just hoping to talk…see how you're doing. We're still friends….aren't we?" A long silence followed. "Anyway…give me a call."

Harm's expression turned grim as he battled with himself about returning her call. There was no reason not to call her, he just didn't think he could be friends with Mac now. This was a truth about himself that he wasn't particularly proud of. Up until he saw Mac and Webb together at the hospital, shortly after their return from Paraguay, he believed nothing could change his and Mac's friendship. Now he knew better.

He was only human, he just couldn't take seeing them together now. He couldn't take hearing about Webb in her conversation, seeing her feelings for him, in her eyes. The whole relationship wasn't any of his business now anyway and he knew it, any chance he and Mac had together, had been lost in Paraguay. He was still angry, damn angry, but the problem was, he wasn't sure where to direct his anger. At Mac…or himself. It didn't matter, either way, he wasn't involved with Mac in any kind of relationship and he couldn't talk to her now.

He looked over his shoulder at the blinking light on his answering machine and then back at the computer screen. Maybe Renee had been right when she said_ he wasn't good at relationships and that he didn't like letting anyone in. _Maybe an online relationship was the only thing he was fit for.

Harm shook his head and chuckled, he was getting ridiculous, this was entirely too much introspection.

It was time to get the hell out of this apartment, to a place he wouldn't run into anyone from JAG or anyone remotely associated with his former life. He'd head out to the airfield in Blacksburg and spend the day with 'Sarah.' The uncomplicated Sarah, the Sarah he knew and loved long before he'd ever even heard of JAG or Sarah Mackenzie.

_Later that day…_

Mac's apartment

Georgetown

Mac let herself into her apartment, carrying her mail, a newspaper and her briefcase. Before she even put anything down, she looked hopefully at her answering machine, looking for the red blinking light that told her she had a message. As it had been since Harm left JAG, there was no message from him. She hadn't expected being separated from Harm to be so painful. Not being able to see him, not talking to him, no contact at all, had left a huge vacuum in her life. Even when he'd left JAG and gone to the Patrick Henry, they'd connected, just often enough to reassure her that she hadn't lost him completely.

She used to think she understood him better than anyone, but this silence had her at a loss. Why wouldn't he call her? He couldn't be gone all the time, she hadn't spoken with him in months. Months! How had that happened? She never believed they'd ever be so estranged from each other. They'd been at odds before, but their friendship always held. She had gone over and over the last real conversation they'd had, alone, in her mind. She didn't regret what she'd said, she still didn't believe they'd ever be anything more than they had been in the past. Friends. It would never be more than that. That wasn't so bad, was it? It seemed to her, trying to take this relationship further, had been the problem. She just wanted to accept things as they were and move on, but she never, ever, wanted to lose Harm as a friend.

Mac just missed Harm, so much more than she thought possible.

She would never show it or admit it to anyone, she still had her pride, after all. She wasn't exactly lonely. Well, not really. Webb was interested in her, he'd made that very clear, but he came and went from her life without warning or explanation. She wasn't sure she wanted someone like that in her life, on a permanent basis. Was there a permanent person in Webb's life, beside his mother? Did she really want to be 'permanent' in his life?

She just didn't know. A couple of months ago, she might have been more willing to consider Webb a permanent possibility, but not anymore.

As she removed her trench coat, she was still deep in thought, dusk was starting to settle outside and the room was dark, she flipped the light switch on the wall and began to take out the files in her briefcase. Work was plentiful, especially without Harm in the office, there was certainly enough to do to fill her nights.

After a quick shower and a change in to something comfortable, she made herself dinner and sat down at her dining room table. She'd arranged her files so that she'd have a 'working' dinner. She opened her laptop, after arranging her chicken sandwich on wheat, cup of yogurt and herbal tea. As she reached for the mouse, her contents of her dinner caught her eye. 'Harm would be so proud' she thought. _Maybe she was beginning to think like him, that was something wasn't it? _Harm had certainly made his mark on her life, in too many ways to count. As she opened her first file, she smiled and thought that thinking like Harm actually_ could be a rip in the time/space continuum._

Booting up her computer, she refocused her attention and energy to the cases she was working on. She worked non stop for nearly 4 hours and after a long stretch, she decided she done enough work for one night. She closed the file that she'd been working on and decided to have a look at the latest news on her favorite server.

An advertisement on the edge of the page caught her eye. It read, "Harmoniousmatch DotCom". Mac sat back in her chair and studied the ad.

She read the words, 'professional,' 'confidential,' 'no obligation' and 'private.'

She thought for a few moments about her social life, as it now stood. She hadn't seen someone she considered her best friend in nearly 6 months. She'd seen Webb all of twice, with the exception of the times she visited him in the hospital. She and Webb hadn't even been 'out' on a date. Both of the times she'd seen him, he'd called at the last minute, arriving at the door of her apartment with an armful of roses. He would glide into the room, charming and urbane, full of mystery and seemingly strong feelings for her. They'd never shared more than a few kisses and true affection for each other. He wanted more but she wasn't ready to move that quickly with him. She cared, but she didn't trust him completely. His visits were brief and of course, he could never say where he was going or where he'd been.

This kind of mystery didn't appeal to her, though she understood the need for it. It only left her feeling adrift and more unsure of him and her feelings for him. She was beginning to feel as though she knew more about him when she worked missions with him, than she did now. The whole thing seemed upside-down somehow.

She didn't really know what she wanted, and Webb just didn't seem to understand that. She wouldn't be pressured by anyone to decide. So, straightening in her chair, she glided her cursor over to Harmoniousmatch DotCom.

_She knew this might change things, _but at the moment she didn't care what Webb or Harmon Rabb, or anyone else for that matter, might think. After all, she was a grown woman with a mind of her own. She was the _Captain _of her soul. _Maybe someday they'd mend fences, _but just now, she was tired of worrying about anyone's opinion of her. Life goes on, she thought.

"_Yes, it does," _she whispered aloud.

0745

November 17, 2003

JAG Headquarters

Harm was in the office first, as he had been in the 3 weeks since he came back to JAG. He was more glad to be back than he'd ever say. It was as if he'd been a stranger in a strange land while he was working for the Company. Now, he was finally back where he belonged. He sat down at his desk with a cup of coffee and opened his personal email. His eyes scanned the subject of each message. One was from Mattie, another from his mom…then his eyes came to rest on the next one. 'We have a match for you!'

Harm rested his head on his open hand, peeking up at the message, all in caps, no less. "What was I thinking?" he said aloud to himself.

He'd completely forgotten filling out this survey and sending in his application. He had done this in a very weak moment, on a day when he'd been feeling particularly low. It had to have been nearly a month ago. Life was good now…well, it was better, much better.

"Sir?"

Bud stood in his office doorway, looking at him curiously. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes…fine. Hi…Bud, Lieutenant, how are you doing?" Harm surreptitiously closed his email so that if Bud walked further into his office, he wouldn't see the bold letters of, 'We have a match for you!'

Bud wrinkled his nose. "I'm great..but I really feel bad about this office."

The 'stink' in his office had become a bit of joke in the bullpen.

"Don't worry about it, Bud. I think the Admiral has finally authorized tearing the wall out so they can find out whatever animal died behind this wall."

Just then, Mac also appeared in the doorway of Harm's new, smelly and cramped office.

Thinking the Colonel had come to speak with Commander Rabb, Bud started to leave, "If you'll excuse me sir, ma'am…"

Mac stopped him, "I was looking for you, Lieutenant."

She gave Harm a cursory glance, with no particular expression or greeting, before she left the room with Bud following her. Her glance hadn't been dismissive, it had been indifferent and that's what he found so jarring about their relationship now. It was as if it didn't matter to her, one way or the other, if they had any kind of relationship, friendship or otherwise.

In the past, when they worked a case, they'd order in and go over all the details, but not this last time, though they'd gotten along well. An element of their closeness was missing. An element whose value he didn't understand until they'd lost it.

He hasn't realized how much comfort he took in their routine. 'Their' routine didn't exist anymore. In the beginning of their relationship, there was never more than friendship between them, but maybe it was just the possibility of something more shining in her eyes, that made him want to return those looks with equal interest.

He missed that, he missed a lot of things….pre-Paraguay. He'd gone as far as trying to get her to tell him she'd missed him, or at least, tell him that she was glad he was back, but Mac had evaded the question. She was …nice…about it, which only made him feel like a fool for asking. Maybe he was being foolish for carrying all this around inside him when there was no point to it.

The way they were now made sense, she wasn't trying to be unfriendly, she was just moving on. He understood it, but he had mistakenly thought that when he returned they would find their way back to the closeness they had before. Maybe the best he could hope for, where Mac was concerned was to keep the animosity out of their conversations, and so far, they'd been successful at that.

Considering where they were a month ago, he knew he should be grateful for that, and move on as well. For awhile, seeing Catherine Gale had been a possibility, but she knew him too well. She was smart enough to know she'd only be a substitute for what he really wanted. A life with Mac.

Harm, alone in his office again, returned his attention to his computer screen, reopened his e mail. _"Why am I doing this?"_

He knew, even as the thought crossed his mind. He needed something in his life…someone to talk to, some kind of connection so that he wouldn't feel as though he had been cut loose from his moorings. Mattie filled his life with a purpose he hadn't had for a long time and he was grateful for that, but he needed a relationship. A personal focus to distract him from the indifference he thought he saw in Mac's eyes. A distraction from what he let slip through his fingers.

There were times when he wasn't 100 sure that moving on was_ the right thing to do. _Webb…was Webb, after all and Harm just didn't see a future for Webb and Mac, long term. Now, he wasn't sure now if he'd been correct in his assessment. If what he was seeing in her expression, it was long past the time to wait for Mac. She had moved on, and he understood now, _he needed to stop trying to stop her. _It wasn't fair.

With resolve borne out of desperation, he moved his cursor over his email list and clicked onto the message from Harmoniousmatch.

_Later that day…._

Mac had been so busy all day that she hadn't had time to look at her personal email. Nearly everyone had left for the day when she sat down at her computer and opened it. She immediately saw her reply from Harmoniousmatch DotCom.

She looked through the open blinds of her office window, at the dimly lit bullpen and caught a glimpse of Harm, through the glass doors. She leaned slightly to the side so that she could get a better view of him as he pushed the button for the elevator. Just then, as if he could feel her eyes on him, he looked over his shoulder at her. Their eyes locked and held. The bell from the opening door chimed and for a moment, Harm seemed to hesitate, as though he might come back into her office and talk with her. It was only a milliseconds' hesitation, before he seemed to reconsider and step onto the elevator. When he turned toward Mac again, and as the elevator doors closed, she felt an inexplicable sadness fall over her. Even now, she hated the thought of Harm and closed doors, doors that closed them off from each other, ending the possibilities. Even though she knew their chance, if they ever had one together, had passed.

There was nothing she could do. Mac squared her shoulders and shook off her sadness. 'Get on with it, Marine' she thought. She opened the message and it read that the service had given her 4 men to choose from. She felt a pang of guilt because of Webb, but then she remembered, she hadn't seen him or heard from him in nearly 2 months. When he'd left her apartment, he'd said only, "I'll see you again." Not much commitment in that, was there?

Mac smiled and whispered aloud, "Well, well, which bachelor shall I choose."

Mac read all the general information and brief physical descriptions of each bachelor. Bachelor #1, she eliminated right away.. 'Walking in the rain'? One of the vital statistics that caught her eye was 6' 4''. 195 lbs. Mac smiled wryly, thinking that this guy was probably short _and _bald. Mac read on, each man gave a number of generic answers to questions about their goals in life, none that would tell her anything important about them. One man was an accountant but it seemed a long shot that they'd have anything in common. There was another who said he was professor of archaeology at a local college which was interesting but he was the, walks-in-the-rain guy, so he was a definite no. Bachelor # 3 stated that he was an attorney and since Mac had had terrible luck with civilian and military attorneys, bachelor # 3 was also a definite, no.

All but one of the men stated, up front, that marriage was their goal. She laughed out loud when bachelor # 4 actually answered, 'Don't know'.

As Mac read on, bachelor # 4 sounded more and more interesting. His profile said he had a job with the DOD, but did not specify more than that. He said 'home was the West Coast.' So she assumed he was in the Navy or a Marine, stationed in California somewhere. He was an only child, like her…military background…like her. This guy could work, especially if he lived on the west coast. No worries about this guy showing up at her front door.

She sat back in her chair, her eyes fixed on the profile of bachelor # 4. She didn't really need to do this, Webb was in her life, well, sort of…she had a busy career…but there was something about this guy. She looked again at his answer to what his objectives in this relationship would be. 'Don't know'

She smirked, thinking he was a man after her own heart. 'I don't know either….I think you're my guy.'

Mac moved her cursor over his profile and clicked her mouse. "Bachelor # 4, it is."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

-1Harmoniousmatch DotCom

Chapter 2

Disclaimers: As previously stated.

Wednesday

November 19, 2003

1848

Harm's apartment

North of Union Station

Harm was just finishing up on the last of the Imes case files he'd been assigned, when he heard a familiar chime on his laptop. Glancing up, he saw that he had another e mail from Harmoniousmatch.

He was still feeing embarrassed by his impulsive foray into online dating, but even so, he'd taken the time to choose someone he thought he'd like to get to know better. He set his work aside for a moment and opened the email. It was the woman that he'd chosen, she was contacting him through the online service. Her user name was Paris. She was asking him if he'd like to IM a conversation, in the near future. Meaning they wouldn't be communicating thru the dating service, it would be on their own.

He hadn't intended, even in his weak moments, to get even this personal, this quickly. Communicating by IM was almost like talking on the phone. The last thing he needed was someone chiming in while he was trying to get something done, online. Then he thought, it might not be too bad. He could access another IP address, so that the IM wouldn't be the same as the one he used for work. That would make it even more anonymous, another plus.

Harm considered it for a moment longer then decided to go ahead and begin a conversation with her. He'd been a bit intrigued by the woman's profile, athletic, military, like him. Her vital statistics sounded made her sound like someone he'd like to get to know. What was the problem with taking the next step? They were probably on opposite sides of the country. Besides, he was tired of being alone in this, too quiet, apartment. With the exception of Mattie, he hadn't been any phone calls at home, that weren't work related, in months. If he didn't get something going soon, he was sure he was going to start talking to himself.

He sent back an e mail, shortly receiving hers, giving her a private e mail address saying, IM was fine with him, that he'd be available in about an hour.

_Mac's apartment, at that same moment…._

Mac was surprised about how quickly Bachelor #4 had responded. He'd chosen the name Guardian. She liked the name. It made him sound strong, as though he were someone who knew who he was and where he was going. She was definitely ready for someone like that, considering her choices of late. She decided to shower, get things set up for work the next morning and then give IM and Guardian, a try.

_Harm's apartment_

Harm was making himself a cup of tea when he heard the IM's distinctive chime from across the room. He found himself rushing back to his computer, looking forward to hearing from his new 'potential' girlfriend.

He sat down at his computer…

_Paris: Hi_

_Guardian: Hello_

At the same time they both typed…

_Paris: I cant believe I'm doing this_

_Guardian: I cant believe I'm doing this_.

_Paris: Great minds think alike?_

_Guardian: I'll go along with that._

_Paris: I'm just interested in talking, at the moment. That's why I thought IM might be the best route, for now. I hope that's okay._

_Guardian: I feel the same way, things have gotten a lot busier for me since I sent in my information._

_Paris: I know what you mean._

_Guardian: Why Paris?_

_Paris: It's represents a special place and time to me. A place that I did a lot of growing up and….it was also one that told the least about me :)_

Harm did smile. He knew just how she felt.

_Guardian: I understand completely. Have you done a lot of traveling?_

He was assuming that she meant Paris, the city of lights…that was fine with her. Mac didn't want to reveal too much, too soon.

_Paris: Yes, I have. Why the name Guardian?_

_Guardian: I'm currently trying to gain guardianship of a girl who has basically been abandoned by her father and has lost her mom in a auto mobile accident, over the past year._

_Paris: Wow, that's a huge undertaking._

_Guardian: It is, but this kid needs help, I couldn't stand by while she went down the tubes._

_Paris: Nothing wrong with that._

Mac had only wanted to touch base, open the dialogue between them without getting too personal. She was definitely interested in getting to know him better. He seemed to be a nice guy, but it was time to wind this conversation up.

_Paris: Hey, sorry to cut this short, I have some work I need to finish._

_Guardian: That's fine._

Harm was still concerned about this getting out of hand, he wanted to know that he didn't have to worry about her 'popping in' on a daily basis. If that was what she expected, he was going to put a stop to it, right now.

_Guardian: How often do you want to do this?_

_Paris: It seems we're both busy people._

_Guardian: True enough, why don't we just talk when we can and see how it goes._

_Paris: Sounds great._

_Guardian: Nice talking to you._

_Paris: Thanks, you too._

Then 'Paris' signed off.

Harm sat looking at the small IM box, feeling relieved. She didn't seem to be invested in this anymore than he was. It would be no strings, but he have a connection, someone to talk to. He might never meet this woman, if he didn't want to.

Perfect.

Back at Mac's apartment, she closed her laptop feeling very satisfied with the conversation she'd just had. She was intrigued, but just enough to look forward to their next conversation, but not enough to worry about how soon it would be.

Perfect.

2130

November 30, 2003

Harm's apartment

North of Union Station

Harm was cleaning up after dinner when he was startled by the chime of his IM. He looked up to see Paris' greeting.

_Paris: Hi, are you busy?_

_Guardian: Just finishing up, how are you?_

_Paris: Good, did you have a nice Thanksgiving?_

_Guardian: Yeah, it was great. It was the first one that I didn't spend working in I cant remember how long. What did you do?_

_Paris: I didn't work this one either, for a change. I was a guest at the home of a… _

What would she call Porter Webb? Clay's mother certainly wasn't a friend…an acquaintance…. maybe.

_Paris: friend of a friend._

_Guardian: Sounds awkward._

Mac laughed out loud. Awkward was a nice way of putting it.

_Paris: It was a bit uncomfortable. The 'friend' didn't show up, so I spent the holiday with someone I didn't really know._

_Guardian: Doesn't sound fun,_

_Paris: It wasn't. Painful…excruciating. _

_Guardian: Ouch. Is the 'friend' still your friend?_

_Paris: I haven't decided yet. So what did you do for the holiday?_

_Guardian: I spent the holiday with the little girl I told you about._

_Paris: How's the guardianship thing going?_

_Guardian: It's slow going, I'm kind of feeling my way through this. I have some things in place for her, meals, an adult to look in on her, etc. But, its no substitute for a person in your life that consistently takes care of you._

_Paris: No family support at all? Aunts, uncles, etc._

_Guardian: No, none that I'm aware of. Her father's alcohol problem seems to have isolated them from friends and any distant relatives she might have._

_Paris: Sounds tough, but its more common than you think._

_Guardian: I'm finding that out more and more._

_Paris: Changing the subject, if you don't mind. I have a question for you._

_Guardian: Shoot._

_Paris: What do you do for the DOD?_

_Guardian: I've recently settled into the Department of the Navy. I've been moving around a lot lately. How about you? Your profile says you are military, what branch?_

Mac was thoughtful before she answered.

_Paris: I'd like to wait a bit longer before I give you anymore details._

_Guardian: Oh, I see. I can tell you, but I get my information about you on a need to know basis? I'm sure my clearance is high enough, so your secrets are safe with me._

_Paris: That may be true, but I'll keep that info, need to know until I decide to clear you. ;) It's different for women, we have to be more cautious_.

Harm really didn't mind, but he still wanted to continue, he felt a connection with this person, how ever loosely held, it felt good to him.

_Guardian: That's fair, I guess I don't need to know(smile) For all you know, I could be a serial killer or something._

_Paris: Exactly._

_Guardian: Hey, thanks a lot._

He made her laugh out loud, again, getting to know this guy was going to be fun.

_Paris: Just remember, this is just a precaution, until we have a chance to know each other better. That's all I'm thinking about…..Killer._

_Guardian: I'll pass comment on that last. So, lets talk about you, how have you been?_

As Mac read his post, he chimed in again.

_Guardian: In general….nothing personal.;)_

Harm's eyes were gleaming with mischief. He was enjoying this, surprisingly, unbelievably.

Mac couldn't help smiling as she answered him.

_Paris: Busy, REALLY busy. My days are averaging 16 hours._

_Guardian: I'm busy too. When I submitted my profile, I wasn't as busy as I am now, btw, I still cant believe I'm doing this._

_Paris: Doing what?_

_Guardian: Talking to a complete stranger….and really having a good time._

Mac studied his answer for a moment, reading the compliment right there in black and white.

_Paris: Its been nice talking to you tonight too. About 'this', I never thought I'd do this either, but it is nice. And I'm not such a stranger now, am I?_

_Guardian: No, not quite._

Mac rubbed her eyes sleepily, and began to yawn, 0430 this morning suddenly seemed a long time ago.

_Paris: Hey, its getting pretty late for me._

Harm was tired too, it had been a long day, all of JAG ops had begun at 0600, and had been for some time. They were still short-handed and they were backlogged from clearing up the Imes mess, and covering their regular case loads. He stretched and yawned before he returned her message.

_Guardian: Me too._

_Paris: Have a good night._

_Guardian: Thanks, you too._

With that, they ended their communication and Mac signed off.

Harm sat back in his chair looking at Paris post 'Its getting pretty late for me.' It occurred to him that she had the impression that he was out on the west coast somewhere. That was fine, for now. Taking care of Mattie was all he needed now, along with a new friend to talk to. She hadn't IM'd him in almost 2 weeks, but she was making it a point to stay in touch.

This was going to work.

Mac slipped beneath her comforter, tired, but not weary and a lot less lonely than she'd felt in months. Before she fell into a deep sleep, she smiled as she thought of Guardian and '_need to know.' _

Oh, the stories she could tell.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

-1Harmoniousmatch DotCom

Chapter 3

Disclaimers: As previously stated.

A/N: This chapter begins after the events of the episode, 'Pulse Rate.' Some of the events that happened there after will be referred to, but not necessarily in the same order as was seen during the regular season.

0945

December 6, 2003

Harm's apartment

Harm had just finished talking with Mattie, for the second time today. She seemed to be becoming more and more insecure, by the day, where he was concerned. Her faith in people, including him, was so affected by the events of her life that no amount of reassurance would convince her that he wasn't going to disappear one day and leave her all alone in the world.

He sat down in front of his computer. He'd been out of the country and so busy with the Yates case that he hadn't had time to think about whether or not Paris had tried to contact him. It had been a long week. Tangling with Mac over the Yates case had been intense, add that to some situations he could have handled better, he was just glad it was over with. He and Mac had finally come to a truce of sorts. There were still a few things he'd like to

Ask her, but they didn't have anything to do with the case. They were about a bit of information that PO Coates had let slip when she talked to him about planning the Admiral's wedding. Of course, he could be reading more into what Coates said, just because Mac didn't speak negatively about marriage, didn't mean she was thinking of marrying Webb.

It was time to stop dwelling on things that weren't any of his business. He decided to IM Paris, to see if she was in the mood to talk.

_Guardian: Hello_

_Paris: Hi! What's up?_

_Guardian: Been away for a few days._

_Paris: Anything exciting?_

_Guardian: Interesting, but not my definition of exciting._

_Paris: What's your definition of exciting?_

_Guardian: Something that doesn't involve paperwork, but does involve high rates of speed._

_Paris: Obviously…not work._

_Guardian: What about you, do you like going fast?_

_Paris: On occasion. What is it with men and their love of fast cars?_

Harm hadn't been thinking about driving a car, more like flying an FA/18 at 8, maybe 9 G's…

_Guardian: Maybe we just know that if you take very good care of your car. If you give her your time, invest your money and pay attention to her, she rewards you, in the end._

_Paris: She? And just what does she give you?_

_Guardian: A beautiful car, that you could take anywhere, that is the envy of every man who sees her. She's always on time but never gets mad when you're not. After you take her out, you come home feeling great._

_Paris: Oh brother, You really are in love aren't you? LOL_

_Guardian: I wouldn't say that, but I do like my car. I have two vehicles, one for work and one for play._

_Paris: I'm assuming the 'she' you're talking about is the car for play?_

_Guardian: Of course._

_Paris: What do you drive for play?_

_Guardian: I don't think I should tell you, a guy cant be too careful._

_Paris: Very funny._

_Guardian: What do you drive?_

_Paris: Never mind._

_Guardian: Ha! I thought so._

_Paris: Next subject please._

_Guardian: If you say so. Did you talk to the 'friend' who didn't show for Thanksgiving dinner?_

_Paris: No, I think he's hiding._

_Guardian: Does he have reason to hide? ;)_

_Paris: Not in the way you think._

_Guardian: What am I thinking?_

_Paris: That I intend to do him bodily harm._

_Guardian: I wasn't thinking that._

_Paris: Sure you weren't. ;)_

Mac thought of what she should say…about how much she wanted to say about her relationship with Webb.

Then she just decided to go for it.

_Paris: The 'friend' that I was supposed to meet and I, have been sort of seeing each other, never really seriously. But it just doesn't seem to be working out._

_Guardian: You want to talk about it._

_Paris: Its just that a few months ago, I thought there was potential for serious relationship. It might have become serious if he'd been more considerate._

Harm didn't answer for a long moment.

_Paris: You still there?_

_Guardian: Yes, I was just thinking…I've been there, I mean I was the one that took someone for granted. _

_Paris: It happens._

_Guardian: This is getting too serious_

_Paris: Don't want 'too serious'_

_Guardian: No, not today._

_Paris: That's why you're talking to me, isn't it?_

_Guardian: Yes and no. I want to talk to someone nice._

_Paris: That's me._

_Guardian: Funny_

_Paris: I have my moments_

_Guardian: Interesting_

_Paris: I'm game_

_Guardian: Lets go back to cars._

_Paris: Typical_

_Guardian: There's nothing typical about my car._

_Paris: Here we go….Okay, How is your car like you?_

_Guardian: Hmm, have to think about that one._

_Paris: Okay._

Mac waited a moment and then couldn't resist asking him more questions. And flirting, just a little.

_Paris: Let's start with the most obvious things about you or your car. _

_Guardian: Okay._

_Paris: Nice body…classic lines?_

_Guardian: I don't know about classic lines, but I try to stay in good physical condition._

_Paris: Smooth?_

_Guardian: Depends on who you ask._

_Paris: How very non committal of you. ;)_

_Guardian: Thank you._

_Paris: Are you fast…like your car?_

_Guardian: I can be very fast, but only when its required._

_Paris: Interesting._

_Guardian: Really?_

_Paris: Yes…back to your car and you…_

_Guardian: If you insist._

_Paris: Comfortable?_

_Guardian: I'm not built for comfort, my car isn't either, its not the first thing you think of when you see it._

_Paris: Economical?_

_Guardian: No, definitely not my car, she's high maintenance._

_Paris: Are we back to 'she'?_

_Guardian: Cant help it._

_Paris: Dependable?_

_Guardian: Always…well most of the time._

_Paris: Your car or you?_

_Guardian: Both_

_Paris: LOL_

_Guardian: Okay, how about you and your car.? How are you like YOUR car?_

_Paris: I don't know about this._

_Guardian: Hey, turnabout is fair play._

_Paris: Okay…tread carefully._

_Guardian: Nice body…classic lines?_

Mac sighed audibly and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She opened this door, now she had to take her turn and walk through it.

_Paris: I'm average._

_Guardian: That is NOT an answer._

_Paris: Okay, my job requires that I keep in shape. _

_Guardian: Not good enough…your profile says you're military, so you have to maintain military standards…but that could mean a lot of things._

_Paris: Such as?_

Harm was not going to say that maintaining military standards could mean she was built like a linebacker and could beat him at arm wrestling.

That would end the conversation right then and there.

_Guardian: Never mind. How about smooth?_

_Paris: Yes, my car is, I don't know about me._

_Guardian: How about fast?_

_Paris: Capable of going very fast, but I don't usually exceed the speed limit._

_Guardian: You or your car?_

_Paris: LOL. My car…I'm not fast…in the negative sense._

_Guardian: You never speed? Ever?_

_Paris: I could get a ticket._

_Guardian: Comfortable?(chicken)_

_Paris: Yes, I think so(I am not)_

_Guardian: Economical?(are too)_

_Paris: No, not really, since I'm single I can afford to be a little extravagant in my choice of car.(I am NOT a chicken)_

_Guardian: Dependable?(Yes, you are)_

_Paris: Yes, so far._

_Guardian: Maybe we'll go for a ride someday._

_Paris: Maybe._

_Guardian: Whose car?_

_Paris: Mine._

_Guardian: Chicken;)_

_Paris: I am not! I'm cautious. I'm changing the subject._

_Guardian: Do you always change the subject when you're losing an argument?_

_Paris: This isn't an argument. We just disagree. How are things going with your guardianship?_

_Guardian: Okay, the subject is officially changed. I have an interview with her guardian ad litem, next week and then court follows just a few days later._

_Paris: Wow, things are moving along really quickly. Are you ready?_

_Guardian: Yes, I think so. She's ready too. She's one independent and stubborn little girl, but she needs my help and I think she's finally willing to accept it._

_Paris: She's lucky to have you._

_Guardian: I think I'm the lucky one. Hey, I'm going to go for now, I've been home for a couple of days and haven't even unpacked from my trip and I've have to be in early tomorrow._

_Paris: Okay, but I have just one question before you go._

_Guardian: Ask._

_Paris: What was the purpose of this conversation tonight? );)_

_Guardian: That's simple, to talk to someone who is becoming a friend and find out as much as I can about her without revealing too much about myself.;)_

_Paris: Goodnight, Guardian_

_Guardian: Goodnight, Paris._

As Mac closed her laptop, she couldn't help smiling. She was beginning to like this guy. He was charming, funny, mysterious and there was just something about him that seemed so familiar.

She just couldn't put her finger on it.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Harmoniousmatch DotCom

Chapter 4

A/N: As previously stated.

A/N: This episode is loosely based on the events surrounding the episode "A Merry Little Christmas."

0915

December 21, 2003

JAG Headquarters

Staff call had just ended and the JAG attorneys were filing out of the conference room, when Bud caught up with Mac.

"How are you, ma'am?"

"I'm fine Lieutenant. Are you and Harriet ready for the holiday?"

"Yes, we're getting there. I suppose you and Mr. Webb have already made plans, but Harriet and I would like you would join us for dinner, before services on Christmas Eve."

"I'll have to get back with you on that, Bud." She didn't want to open the discussion about she and Webb, there in the bullpen. She wasn't going there.

"I hope you two can work it out. And if I may say so ma'am, things must be going well with Mr. Webb, you seem so happy lately."

Mac gave him a sardonic smile, she couldn't let that comment pass. "Don't believe everything you hear, Bud."

Harm wasn't far behind them and had overheard their conversation. In fact, he was so focused on it, that he nearly collided with PO Coates.

"A phone call for you. sir."

Harm had been expecting to hear from social services about his home inspection.

"I'll take it in my office, Petty Officer."

"Yes, sir." Coates regarded him as he hurried back to his office. Something was up, she thought. Commander Rabb had been getting a lot of personal calls, all of them women. One particular lady, the mysterious Ms Grace, was calling more than the others. Who was this woman?

PO Coates wasn't the only person who was wondering what Harm's deep dark secret was. Mac had noticed too. He'd been getting a lot of calls, at work and on his cell, pretty consistently since he'd returned to JAG. She could always hear a female voice on the other end of the line but Harm never volunteered any information. Whoever was calling seemed to be someone he felt close to, someone he'd been waiting to hear from. Mac had long ago accepted that there would be nothing more than friendship between them. But when he'd get a call while they were working a case or when they were in conversation, he would turn away from her, smiling, as he realized who was on the other end of the line. Though she knew she had no right to, she still felt a stab of jealousy because she knew he'd never seen her in that way.

Mac had begun working on her assigned case and had been for some time, when Harm knocked on the frame of the open door of her office. He'd been trying to screw up his courage all morning, to ask Mac if she'd be willing to be a character witness for him in Mattie's custody hearing.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself." She smiled up at him.

"How's it…uh, going?"

For Mac, it was easy to see that Harm had something on his mind. He seemed to be working it out, as he spoke. He seemed to be hovering between coming into her office and standing just outside the doorway.

"Good." Her curiosity about what this was about, plain on her face.

"Have a good holiday?"

"Holiday?"

"Yeah…Thanks giving." _Damn, why hadn't he thought of a better question?_

"It was okay." _Almost a month ago. _What was really on his mind?

"Spend it with Webb?"

"Yes…I did." She was stretching the truth a bit, but she was with 'a' Webb, but it was Porter, not Clayton.

"You?"

"Oh, same old thing."

"If I remember correctly, it was a nice weekend. I thought you might've take 'Sarah' out." She looked up at him slyly. "Maybe take your mystery woman up…show off your skills…flying skills"

Harm crossed his arms and leaned on the door jamb, he loved that she was so curious about his 'mystery woman'. Mattie would get a kick out of it too. However, he did have a new woman in his life, but she was only a friend. The fact that he'd met her through an online dating service would have been a huge source of amusement for Mac, if she knew, but that wasn't going to happen.

"I did take someone up, yes. I had a really good time, as a matter of fact."

Back to Mattie, safer subject and the real reason he came to her office.

"That's nice….um, was there a reason you came in my office, Harm? Or, did you just want to chat?"

Harm raised his eyebrows, his deer in headlights look was firmly in place. "No…not really, just wanted to see how you're doing. That's okay…isn't it? I mean, just asking how you're doing?"

Mac smiled but her expression was unsure. _What was all this about? _"Yes…that's fine."

"I…uh, do need to talk to you about something…." Harm stepped further into her office, bringing his hands in front of him, fingers touching together, nervously.

Just as he was going to ask Mac the question he'd been playing over and over again, in his mind, Coates approached him again. "The Admiral would like to see you, sir. ASAP."

"Thanks Petty Officer."

Harm looked back at Mac, "I'll catch up with you, later."

"Sure."

After Harm left her office Petty Officer Coates stepped into Mac's office. "The Commander sure has been getting a lot of calls lately."

Mac glanced up at her from the computer. "That may be Petty Officer, but it isn't your job to dispense that information to the office, is that clear?"

For reasons she couldn't explain, she didn't like the idea of gossip about Harm and this mystery woman. Besides, she was Chief of Staff, and she couldn't encourage that sort of thing at JAG, should she?

"Oh…no ma'am. I mean, yes ma'am." PO Coates came to attention.

"Dismissed."

As the petty officer quickly left her office, Mac's curiosity was, undeniably, more piqued about this 'mystery woman' that seemed to need to contact Harm, daily.

As for telling Harm that Clayton Webb had stood her up…again, that was definitely out. Webb still hadn't contacted her and it had been nearly a month, since her uncomfortable dinner with his mother. She was sure now that the next conversation she had with Webb, would be to tell him that he shouldn't expect her to be available, when he found time to come back to DC. She didn't want to let Harm, or anyone else, for that matter to know the status of her relationship with Webb. She wasn't ready for the 'I told you so' look on Harm's face.

She really, really, hated it when Harm was right about something.

_Later that evening…._

Harm lay awake, knowing he should have been asleep long ago. He was worried about Mattie. Things were moving along, but he didn't like the fact that Mattie was so far away. Ice and snow, in and around Blacksburg, had been forecast in all the weather reports that evening. Was that drafty old house even heated properly? All of his concerns seemed to make her situation even more precarious, to him. A young girl, alone, without a parent to make sure she was safe.

This had to work out, for Mattie's sake. She wasn't making it easy, she still kept so much close to the vest. Too much hovering made her angry, but he could read in her expression, just how lost she was feeling. He couldn't walk away from her, he had no earthly idea what he was going to do with a 14 year old girl in his life on a daily basis, but he was hurtling toward it. Someone from social services would be doing an assessment of his home, tomorrow. He had arranged to meet with Mac, tomorrow evening, to ask her tell her about Mattie's hearing, and ask her the question that he still dreaded asking. She'd known him longer than anyone and though they weren't as close as they'd been in the past, he hoped she'd agree to be a character witness for him.

Harm finally gave up on sleeping and sat up on the side of his bed. He was fighting the feeling that he was in to this thing, way over his head. He didn't even have a plan B. What would happen to Mattie if this fell through? He had only thought about what he wanted to do, not what would happened if this didn't work out.

Unbidden his thoughts turned to Mac, he needed to talk to her about this. He was investing so much of himself in this, Mattie was too. He wasn't sure he was seeing everything clearly. Though he knew Mac might accuse him of leading with his emotions, she always seemed to bring him gently back to earth. Always that solid rock that allowed him to vent and helped him find the answers.

He still missed her, he wondered if he always would.

He looked through the louvered glass, dividing his bedroom from the rest of the living space of his apartment and saw his the computer screen on his desk. He pulled on his robe and padded over to his computer.

Maybe he _could _talk with someone tonight.

_Guardian: Hello_

_Paris: Hey, how are you?_

_Guardian: Good, Hope its not too late._

_Paris: No, not at all. Haven't heard from you in awhile, Everything okay?_

_Guardian: Sure…just thinking it was time to get in touch._

_Paris: I was just thinking about you._

Harm smiled broadly, that was nice to know.

_Guardian: Really? What were you thinking?_

Mac smiled, he was flirting….and she liked it.

_Paris: I was wondering if you might have guardianship before Christmas._

_Guardian: I might, courts in two days. It's getting pretty intense._

_Paris: How so?_

_Guardian: Lots of interviews, home assessments and court hearings subsequent to that, to determine my fitness. _

_Paris: Definitely sounds like you have a full plate._

_Guardian: Yes and the hell of it is, what if I cant help her, what happens then?_

_Paris: Foster care?_

_Guardian: That's right. She's suffered a lot of losses over the past year, I'm not sure how she'll handle another one._

_Paris: And you're afraid of letting her down?_

_Guardian: Yes, I am._

She did understand, he was so glad he decided to contact her.

_Paris: You're already doing everything you can, right?_

_Guardian: Yes, I've met with her guardian ad litem, I have a home inspection tomorrow with social services. I'm working on getting character witnesses to speak to my fitness, as a guardian._

_Paris: Then how can you think you haven't done all you can? I'm sure things will work out. I'm sure you have friends who will speak for you._

_Guardian: I hope so. We'll see. But thanks for the vote of confidence._

_Paris: You're welcome_.

She was right. He had done everything within his power to be ready. All he needed was a character witness. Surely Mac would do that.

_Guardian: How are things with you? Are you ready for the Christmas?_

_Paris: I think so. My shopping is finished, the decorations are up. How about you?_

Harm looked around his apartment, not one bit of tree or tinsel. He'd better get busy, if he did get custody of Mattie before the holiday, this apartment might look pretty dreary. He'd already sent his gift to his mother and Frank. He still had to buy for the Roberts and their kids, but he usually waited until a couple of days before Christmas to shop. Then there was Mac's gift, or to put it correctly, there used to be Mac's gift. She'd be getting her gifts from Webb, this year. It didn't feel right to be that close with her now that Webb was so involved in her life. It struck him that Brumby never had kept them from being close, but as with everything else in his and Mac's relationship, Paraguay had changed everything.

_Paris: Hey…you still there?_

_Guardian: Sorry, just thinking about what I still have to do._

_Paris: Everything at the last minute?_

_Guardian: Something like that. _

_Paris: Typical guy._

_Guardian: Hey, I'm not typical._

_Paris: You're just doing what most men do, waiting until the last minute. _

_Guardian: I'm not most men…._

Harm was startled by pounding at the door, then he hears Mattie call through the door.

_Guardian: Hey, I've got to go._

He signed off.

Harm answered the door to find a frantic Mattie, with news that would only complicate matters more than they were. Her father had materialized, seemingly, out of no where. He was angry about the guardianship hearing and swearing he'd never allow anyone to 'take his little girl away'.

This was all he needed.

_The next day…._

Mac passed Harm's office. It was office was still dark, with the blinds closed. PO Coates happened to be passing and Mac asked her where the Commander was that morning.

"He took personal leave, ma'am. He wont be back until after the first of the year. Do you need to contact him, ma'am?"

"No, that's alright, Petty Officer."

Mac was perplexed, he hadn't said a word about taking leave when they made plans for him to come to her apartment tonight. What did he need to talk to her about tonight? He seemed so serious. He wasn't getting married, was he? Or, could he be thinking of leaving JAG, again?

_Later that evening, at Mac's apartment…_

Harm parked his Lexus in front of Mac's apartment and made his way inside the building. He'd been surprised and pleased, when she'd invited him to her apartment.

He needed her help and for the life of him, he didn't know where else to turn. He thought about asking the Admiral for a character reference, but considering the state of their relationship, he didn't think that was a good idea. He was afraid the Admiral might tell the court he wasn't fit for anything that required more commitment than alligator wrestling.

Maybe it would be easier, asking her at her apartment, instead of the office.

He felt pretty good about the whole thing, until she opened the door. The warmth of the room seemed to draw him in. It seemed to glow, golden, from the candles on the mantle, to the Christmas tree bedecked in tiny white lights and shimmering ornaments. The room was beautiful and so was Mac.

Maybe seeing her, in her home, hadn't been a good idea.

It was easier to separate himself from her, to accept that being with her wasn't a possibility, when she was at work and in uniform, looking like a colleague, not like someone he loved.

She'd been wrapping gifts and she invited him to come in and sit down, but the question he was about to ask her wouldn't allow it. She looked at him smiling curiously. She was being so nice, but her cordiality made him feel even more lonely. He wanted to stay, here, in this room, with her. He wanted her hand in his, her heart to understand his, as it had so many times before, when he'd foolishly not seen the value of it.

But that door was closed, it was not to be.

He tried to shake off those feelings, as he sat down beside her, trying not to sit too close, but he hadn't escaped the scent of her perfume. This close to her, the warm and radiant colors in the room, highlighted her amber brown eyes, causing her complexion to glow. With effort, refocused and began to tell her about Mattie. He watched, inwardly apprehensive, as her expression went from interest, to what he could only interpret as shock. In the end, when he asked her for help, it seemed to take an eternity for Mac to say anything. When she did, she could only say…

"I don't know what to say."

Harm sprang up from the couch, reflexively. _She didn't know what to say? _He felt as though he'd had the wind knocked out of him. Didn't she know what was at stake?

He was angry and more hurt than he'd ever be able to tell her. All she could do is sit there and say him…_she didn't know what to say? _He was at the door of her apartment, letting himself out before he'd even begun to compose himself. _He felt as though he'd had his whole world turned upside down._

As he stormed out of the building, it occurred to him that if he needed to be reminded of the state of his current relationship with Mac, all he had to do was think about her reaction to this request. She had to know what it took to ask her, she had to know how much this meant to him.

His head was spinning, his mind was working overtime, trying to figure out why Mac had answered as she had, but mostly, trying to think of what he was going to do to help Mattie. Unbidden, words Mac had said to him in jest, worked their way into his consciousness. But they had an edge that Mac never intended. Harm's wounded pride and perception gave them another meaning entirely. _"You could always go for an emotional appeal, Harm. You're so good at it."_

Just then, Harm's cell began to ring, and he saw Mac's name and number come up on his caller ID. He shook his head and spoke his thoughts, aloud.

"Sorry Mac, I don't have what it takes to go head to head with you now, there is a little girl who needs me."

Now he knew, he was on his own. So be it, he thought. It was as Paris had told him, he'd done everything he could. He could only go to court and hope the judge would rule in his and Mattie's favor.

_Mac's apartment, at that same moment…._

Mac held her phone to her ear and began to pace as she listened to his cell phone ring.

"Come on Harm, pick it up."

She was still in shock, Harm hadn't understood and had reacted before she had a chance to explain. She still had trouble wrapping her mind around it.

Harm was Guardian. As he'd described his situation, everything fell into place, her shocked expression and her slow response had made him jump to conclusions. Again.

She got his voice mail.

"Harm, please call me. It's just that you just blindsided me with this, I wasn't expecting…I don't know, just call me. I need to talk to you, I want to help."

Of course she would help. He hadn't given her the chance to answer. She ran to her window and could make out what she knew were the tail lights of Harm's Lexus, at the end of her lane.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

-1Harmoniousmatch DotCom

Chapter 5

A/N: Disclaimers as previously stated.

A/N: This chapter contains the September 08' challenge lines and picks up where 'A Merry Little Christmas,' left off.

2240

Christmas Eve

Vietnam Veterans National Memorial

Washington DC

Mac felt so good, so happy that she barely felt the chill of the below freezing winter air as she stood before Harm and explained to him the reason she and Mattie had just shown up there.

Harm was looking from Mattie to her, his eyes alight with happiness and affection. It was so good to see him this way. He seemed truly happy. It was as though every bad thing that had passed between them had been erased and they were friends again, the best of friends. There was so much to tell him, but now was not the time. Knowing she should leave them alone, she began to back away and then he asked the question….

"_Hey, where are you going?"_

She wanted to stay, she didn't want to tell him she had to meet Webb, but it had to be done. He'd called her this morning, asking to meet her. She felt she owed it to him to break this relationship off, face to face. What they'd endured together was something that bound them together, but that bond wasn't strong enough to build the kind of relationship Mac wanted. He wasn't what she needed. Had they spent more time together, she might have reached this conclusion, much sooner.

"_I have to see….Webb."_

She saw it, the disappointment, even sadness in his eyes but she had to go. This had to be handled the right way.

In this moment, she felt so close to Harm and the look in his eyes told her his heart was open to her. At least that's what she believed she was seeing.

It would have been wonderful to stay, to celebrate this Christmas with them. To have the chance to explain to Harm that they'd been talking to each other for months, on line, but hadn't known it. It was too complicated to go into right now. He needed time to focus on Mattie, and she needed his undivided attention. They would talk later. She hoped.

As Mac walked down the paved path, away from Harm and Mattie, she glanced over her shoulder, to see Harm still watching her from where he stood at the Wall with Mattie. He raised a gloved hand to wave goodbye and she did the same. The expression on his face when he first saw her, the confusion and then gratitude, when he'd realized he had custody of Mattie, she would never forget. Her own eyes were welling with tears, as she thought about it.

She quickened her pace, if she didn't hurry away, she'd have turned back to be with them, Webb be damned. She'd barely kept rein on her emotions until she was able to get away from them. She was so glad her plea to Mattie's father hadn't fallen on deaf ears. Mattie was with Harm, where she belonged and Tom Johnson would get the help he needed. It had worked out perfectly in the end.

When she arrived at her apartment building, she saw that Webb waited in a cab, just outside of the enclosed courtyard. When he saw her car pull into its designated space, he stepped out of the cab and sent it on.

When Mac saw what he'd done she thought, _Maybe you should have told the cabbie to wait, Webb._

Clayton met her at the paved path that lead to the front door of her building. He leaned in to kiss her lips, but Mac turned her head and gave him her cheek.

"Hello, Clay." He hadn't even brought his customary roses this time.

Webb thought that she might still be angry about his not being with her on Thanksgiving. He was sure he knew how to handle this situation with Mac. He'd just explain that it was a matter of national security, confident that she couldn't fault him in anyway. He was sure she understood, she was tough.

He followed her into her dark apartment. When Mac flipped the switch, her living room literally lit up, lamps and Christmas tree. He walked over to the tree, looking at the gifts beneath it.

He glanced over his shoulder, his smile confident and smug "Which one is for me, Sarah?"

"Did you bring my gift, Clay?" She looked around him, as though she were trying to see if he had a gift hidden somewhere, though she knew…. he did not.

He turned around to face her. "I've been….out of the country, as I'm sure you understand, and I didn't really have the time…we can shop together…sometime."

Mac smiled, _At least, he's consistent._

"Don't worry about it, I didn't buy a gift for you either, so there's no need to feel any obligation."

Webb was relieved, at first, but then he began to wonder what her indifference might mean.

"Sarah…I'm really sorry about missing Thanksgiving…you had a nice visit with Mother, didn't you?"

"It was a nice dinner, Clay, but I don't really know your mother. It was a bit awkward, to say the least, but again, don't worry about it."

He hadn't sat down, or removed his coat. He had the distinct impression that he wouldn't be in Mac's apartment for very long.

"Do you have something to tell me, Sarah? This isn't just about missing Thanksgiving and not remembering a Christmas gift….is it?"

"No, its not just about that, but both situations just illustrate the point I'm about to make. Your life, as it is now, doesn't have room for a girlfriend, significant other or even a close friend, and that's okay. I just cant live that life with you, its too much like being alone."

"Sarah….you know how my life is, you've known me for years."

"That's true, but I think I knew more when we worked missions together, than I do now. Somehow I thought you and I would be closer."

"Of course you knew more, you were part of it, but that's not possible now."

"You're missing my point."

"Then make it, Mac."

His last comment held an edge that she resented. "Okay, Clay, you and I aren't going to see each other anymore…as a couple, if that's what we ever were."

"I have wanted to make this relationship more than it is, you are the one who has held back from me. You don't let anyone in, Sarah."

_This, from a man who appeared and disappeared without explanation? _Mac couldn't believe his audacity. "Given your inability to be anything but an elusive….visitor, not letting you in, as you put it, was a probably a good thing."

Webb walked across the room, seemingly deep in thought and then, as he turned his expression changed, his eyes narrowed and his mouth formed into a sarcastic smirk.

"Where were you, just now, before you met me here tonight?"

Mac frowned, 'I went to Christmas Eve services, as always."

"No Mac, where did you go after that?" His expression had not changed, his tone was mocking.

Mac was suddenly, incredibly angry. _Who the hell did he think he was?_

"I told you everything you need to know. Its none of your business where I go or what I do, anyway."

"You were with Rabb at the Wall tonight, weren't you? This is about Harm, its not about my not being available to you."

They'd never been able to have a conversation that involved Harm, that didn't deteriorate into something resembling one school boy, jealous of the other. Mac seldom mentioned him to Webb, for that reason.

"Harm has nothing to do with this. I believed we had something special between us, something we could build on. You cant build a relationship with someone you never see, that never takes the time to call or even acknowledge your existence, Clay."

Webb wasn't angry, at least, he didn't appear to be. He was dismissive. As though Mac couldn't possibly know what she was talking about. "You can say whatever you like. You and I both know the truth. I think I should go, if that's what you want."

Mac nodded, "I do know the truth, Webb…do you? This is about you and me, not Harm. And yes, I do want you to go."

Webb went to the door of her apartment and opened it. "Oh, and Merry Christmas, Mac."

Clay had meant to be sarcastic, but all of a sudden, the whole situation made her feel so sad. So she answered him, in a quiet voice, "Merry Christmas, Clay."

All the sarcasm fled his expression before he turned away. "I'm sorry, Sarah."

This was the side of Webb she could admire. The one she'd seen in Sadiq's prison, in Paraguay. There was an honorable guy, beneath that veneer of acerbic self absorption. He let so few people see his better side. Even in their relationship, she seldom glimpsed the kind heart she still believed he had. It made sense, his life as it was, wouldn't allow it. Which only confirmed what she knew…. this could not be her life too. She needed more.

"I know….be safe Clay." Her expression was kind, but resolute. It was over between them and he knew it.

Silently, he closed the door to her apartment.

Mac felt a mixture of heartache and relief. It was over, and she was glad, glad that she hadn't allowed their relationship to deepen further. She had enough scars on her heart.

She looked up at the Christmas tree and then at all the gifts beneath it. Today might have begun as a bad day, but it had ended so well, that she couldn't feel anything but grateful. She reached for the switch on the wall and dimmed the lights, so that the tree' lights shone brightest, illuminating in the room.

Tomorrow was Christmas Day and she was spending it with Harriet and Bud. Christmas brunch, with all the trimmings. Most of the gifts beneath the tree, were for the Roberts children, but there was a gift for someone else, too. She knelt in front of the tree and pulled a brightly wrapped box from under it. The tag read, 'Guardian.'

She'd bought it on a whim, knowing she might never meet him, unbelievably, she'd known him, all along.

Peoples Drug Store.

2345

Christmas Eve

Harm and Mattie walked a small cart, stuff with as many Christmas trimmings as it would hold to the cashier of the only store that was open, for miles.

It was safe to say that there was more candy and Christmas decorations in this cart than Harm had ever had in his apartment. Mattie had just scooped up yet another bag as they passed a Christmas display.

"Mattie, that's enough. You already have more candy than you'll ever be able to eat."

Mattie looked up at him mischievously, "You have so much to learn, Harm."

"I cant let you eat all this junk." He gestured at the 4 bags of assorted chocolate in every possible wrapper and combination, along with candy canes and divinity.

"I'm supposed to be taking good care of you, eating this, all the time is not my definition of good care."

Mattie looked slightly surprised, "You really going to take this seriously, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. So don't get used to this. Its just for Christmas. We'll shop for something more nutritious after the holiday. We have until January 2nd to get into some kind of routine and introduce you to a nutritious meal."

"No more cold pizza?"

"That's right."

"You're really going to be my dad, aren't you?"

Harm smiled at her, answering with only a nod.

Mattie promptly dropped a huge bag of chocolate covered peanuts wrapped in red and green into his cart, thinking she'd charmed him into yet another bag of candy.

"Merry Christmas, Dad…..its 50 percent off, and its peanuts, so its nutritious….right?"

She turned away from him, walking to the cashier. Harm took that opportunity to take a few bags of candy she'd dropped in the cart and surreptitiously place them on a shelf, as he was passing.

"Merry Christmas, Mattie." He said quietly.

He would give her a break….

She could keep the chocolate covered peanuts.

Christmas night

Mac's apartment

Mac had spent most of the day at the Roberts, after Christmas brunch. It was so great to be with them and the children on this day. She'd hoped that Harm might be there, but Bud and Harriet said that he was spending the holiday with family. Mac knew that the 'family' was Mattie. She found herself thinking of him off and on all day. Wondering how things were going with Mattie, and how they were settling in. The look in Harm's eyes still warming her, to her heart.

She'd settled into her pajamas and made herself a cup of cocoa when she decided to check her e mail account. There was something from Guardian, something he sent very early that morning. Mac eagerly read what Guardian/Harm, had to say.

_Paris,_

_Hey, since its after 2 am, I thought an email might be better. I just wanted to let you know that I have temporary custody of Mattie. I still cant believe it. At the last minute, a friend, a very good friend came through for me. In spite of everything, she stood up in court, provided a character reference._

_It's a long story, but the night you and I were talking on IM, and I had to go, Mattie was at my door. Her father materialized out of no where, furious with Mattie and with me, objecting to any kind of guardianship. The judge was sympathetic to us, but thought it in Mattie's best interest to have her placed in foster care. It was a done deal, but my friend spoke with Mattie's father and he has allowed me temporary custody while he gets some help, with his alcoholism_.

_I told Mattie I wouldn't allow her to be sent to foster care _

_I thought I'd made a promise I couldn't keep. I promised her that I'd never done that. I gave her my word. Everything I was trying to do, everything I was trying to prove to Mattie, was hanging by a thread. _

_I owe my friend everything, she came through for me in a way I didn't expect, or deserve. When I asked for her help, I handled it badly, but in spite of that, she was there for me. I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank her enough. I don't think there are words for the way I feel, right now._

_Anyway, I'm going to close for now, just wanted to let you know._

_Hope you have a great holiday._

_Guardian_

_PS: I think I should tell you something, about my friend, but I want to wait until we can IM. _

Mac sat back in her chair. What was that all about? What could Harm want to tell her….about her?

Just then the familiar chime of her IM came through and lo and behold, Guardian, was ringing in.

_Guardian: Hey, Merry Christmas_

TBC

.


	6. Chapter 6

-1Harmoniousmatch DotCom

Chapter 6

Disclaimers: As previously stated

A/N: This chapter takes place in the month of January 04' but will not include any of the events which took place in that month at JAG. No diamonds, no trashing Meredith.

A/N: Well….do you hate me yet??

Mac's apartment

Christmas Night

_Guardian: Hey, Merry Christmas_

Mac looked at the greeting and for a fraction of a second, thought she might just log off. This is not the way she wanted to tell him that she was Paris. Now wasn't the time, but she had to know. What was he going to tell Paris, about her?

She stared at Guardian's greeting and whispered aloud, "Here we go."

_Paris: Hey, you too._

_Guardian: Did you get my e mail?_

_Paris: Yes, I did, and congratulations._

She should tell him now, now, before she said another word. But she didn't.

_Guardian: Mattie and I are getting ready to get out of town. We're going _to _Blacksburg, her family home and her home before I gained custody of her. I promised I'd help her keep it out of foreclosure. Now I have to get a more, in depth, look at it and find out just what I've gotten myself into. ;)_

Mac was still berating herself for not telling 'Guardian' who she was, but it didn't keep her from continuing the conversation.

_Paris: Sounds fun_

_Guardian: Not really, but I wanted to talk to you before I left, I'm glad I caught you on line._

_Paris: Here I am._

_Guardian: You know that I told you in the e mail that I needed to talk to you._

_Paris: About the friend who testified for you in the custody hearing?_

_Guardian: Yes_

There was almost a full minute of no communication from Guardian.

Mac was getting anxious. What was he going to say? Was she finally going to get a glimpse of what was going on behind what could be a spell binding and enigmatic expression. Would she finally gain some insight into the cryptic one liners that could throw her world into a tail spin, almost since the day they met?

_Paris: You still there?_

_Guardian: Yes, its just hard to put into words._

_Paris: Don't worry about it, just say it, I'm a big girl, I think I can handle it._

_Guardian: About that friend, she's more than a friend but I'm not exactly in a relationship with her, its complicated._

Mac didn't answer, her feelings were all over the map. Fear, anticipation, as well as guilt, which she had no intention of giving in to. Her heart was beginning to hammer in her chest. He was going to tell her how he felt….about her…finally. Her conscious-stricken heart told her she shouldn't be reading this. Harm didn't know it was her…but her need to know, overruled her guilt and she continued.

_Guardian: You still there?_

_Paris: Yes, I'm just waiting for you to continue. You seem to have a lot on your mind._

_Guardian: I do, I just hope what I say doesn't hurt you or make you feel bad._

_Paris: Why would I feel bad?_

_Guardian: Because I'm about to tell you that I'm in love with this friend, very much in love. And, knowing that there isn't a possibility of anything more than friendship with you, I feel bad because I don't want to waste your time._

She leaned forward and read_'very much in love' _over and over. Touching the tips of her fingers to her lips, she whispered his name and her eyes filled with tears. She hadn't been sure of what he would say….but this had taken her breath away. Every hope for a future with him that she'd buried in Paraguay, returned full force. She blinked away her tears and looked down at the keyboard, trying to form a coherent response.

_Paris: You didn't waste my time, you were honest from the beginning. You said you didn't know what you wanted. I felt the same way. I think we were both just lonely, so please don't feel badly._

_Guardian: I'm so glad you feel that way. And, if you ask me, you shouldn't be looking for a good guy, online. You seem like such a nice person. I cant believe someone hasn't snapped you up already._

_Paris: Thank you, Guardian, but remember, I did find you on line. Are you going to tell your friend how you feel, or are you going to suffer in silence? ;)I think this friend has no idea what she has in you._

_Guardian: Hey I'm the exception and about my friend, she's involved with someone else._

_Paris: You might be exceptional…but are you certain of how involved your friend is?_

Tell me Harm, ask me!

_Guardian: I know she's been seeing him for about 6 months, and she spent Christmas Eve with him. After she went above and beyond, for me and Mattie._

_Paris: All that effort says something, doesn't it?_

_Guardian: She and I have been friends for years, but as far as having a shot at really being involved with her, I think I blew my chance. By the time I realized that I loved her, that she was the one I wanted, she'd moved on._

_Paris: You'll never know how she really feels if you don't let her know_.

_Guardian: I'll think about it. What about you, what will you do? _

_Paris: I think I'm done with Harmoniousmatch too. Certain possibilities have opened up for me in the last few days, I'm suddenly feeling optimistic._

_Guardian: Hey, that's great. Now I don't feel so bad._

_Paris: You shouldn't, I think you just might have made my night._

_Guardian: Really?_

_Paris: Really._

_Guardian: Care to elaborate? It's not the guy who stood you up at Thanksgiving, is it?_

_Paris: No, Mr. Nosey. And for your information, its not that guy._

Its you…maybe its always been you, she thought.

_Guardian: Still being cautious?_

_Paris: Always._

_Guardian: Okay, I'll let you slide, this time._

_Paris: Thank you_

_Guardian: I'm going to go now. I have to finish getting everything ready, we leave early tomorrow for Blacksburg. _

_Paris: Okay._

_Guardian: Thanks, Paris, for being so great about this. You know you can always e mail from time to time, to let me know how you're doing._

_Paris: You are certainly welcome and yes, maybe I will._

_Guardian: Stay cautious, Paris._

Without another comment, Paris signed off. Guardian was puzzled. _'That was abrupt'._

Hopefully she wasn't upset, she didn't seem to be. She really was great about the whole thing. She was a nice lady and she deserved a good guy.

He certainly hoped she found him.

0725

January 2, 2004

JAG Headquarters

January had settled in, cold, damp and deep, over Washington D.C. Mac was still cold as she stood in the break room waiting for her coffee to brew. She rubbed her hands together, trying to warm them. She wondered, as she had over the holiday week, how she would handle seeing Harm for the first time since he'd told 'Paris' he was _very much in love. _Would he read in her expression that she knew? How would she hide how happy the thought of, _very much in love, _made her feel? She knew she had to tell him, as soon as possible that she was Paris, but how and when?

"It wont brew any faster if you watch it, Mac."

Harm's voice cut into her thoughts, visibly jolting her back into the moment.

"Hey, never sneak up on a Marine, you might get hurt." _That's it, make a joke, so he wont wonder why I've got this silly smile on my face. _

Harm chuckled deep in his chest, "I think I could handle you, Mackenzie."

"Is that so?" She bantered back at him, her skin tingling from the back of her neck, all the way down her spine.

"Do you want to test that….right now?" Harm was surprised, but smiling. _Why is she looking at me like that?_

"No…I suppose not. _Oh, my God, I'm already flirting. Change the subject, Mackenzie!_

"Um…. you're early." Mac busied herself, adding cream and sugar to coffee that she usually took black.

"So are you." He opened a cabinet and took out a ceramic mug.

"I thought you might not be in until after staff call, since you would have to get Mattie settled into school.

"Mattie and I started very early this morning, besides we started this process before the new year. The school administrative staff have a shorter holiday, so we're all set." He answered her while filling his cup.

"Great." Mac caught just a hint of his after shave, she hadn't noticed how nice it was. Hadn't she given him that cologne for Christmas a few years ago?

Harm took a sip of his coffee and leaned on the counter, very near where Mac stood. When he spoke, he lowered his voice. "Mac, I cant thank you enough for what you did for us." His gaze was tender, even loving and Mac had a difficult time meeting his eyes.

"It was my pleasure, Harm. I just wish you'd told me sooner."

"I know, I just….didn't want to assume too much." Harm moved to the opposite side of the narrow break room, putting some space between them. "You're with Webb. I didn't want to impose."

"Impose? Its not imposition to talk to me about something like this. I never said, at any time, that we were no longer friends, Harm." She was so nervous, that her tone was sharper than she had intended it to be.

Harm expression turned serious and he sat his coffee mug on the counter. He studied her for a moment. "Mac, I don't want to fight. I don't want to talk about Webb, or Paraguay, or even the state of our relationship for the last 6 months. You did something great, something completely selfless for me. I just want you to know I'll never forget it."

He looked away from her and thought, _And it made me fall, even more in love with you, if that's possible_. Then he turned to her, waiting for her reaction.

Harm hadn't hidden anything, Mac could see it in his eyes, everything he'd said Christmas night. He did love her. It wasn't just fondness, or the kind of affection friends have for each other. What she was seeing in that penetrating gaze was in danger of undoing her.

"You're both early?" The Admirals voice boomed into the room, startling them both.

"Having a conference that I'm not aware of?" He looked from Mac to Harm.

"No….sir, just early." Harm straightened reflexively as did Mac, but she was still felt off balance from the intensity of their conversation.

Admiral Chegwidden's instincts told him that something was up. "Something going on that I need to know about?"

Mac answered first, "Harm became a father over the weekend."

The Admiral looked from Mac to Harm and said "Excuse me?"

Harm clarified, "Not exactly a father, sir. I was granted guardianship of a little girl, she's my ward."

"Congratulations, Rabb." He raised his brow, thoughtfully, maybe Rabb was finally going to grow up, after all.

The Admiral walked further into the room where Harm and Mac stood awkwardly in front of the coffeepot. He looked at both of them, trying to telegraph his need to get to the coffee, but they didn't get the message. "Uh…may I?"

They answered at once. "Yes, sir."

"Of course, sir"

Harm and Mac nearly tripped over each other trying to get out of his way. The Admiral only shook his head and mercifully, they were dismissed.

"Yes, sir" They said in unison. And quickly left the room.

2145

January 29, 2004

Jen and Mattie's apartment

North of Union Station

Since Teddy Lindsey's witch hunt, the spring before, the Admiral had kept the number of TAD assignments Harm and Mac had together, to a minimum. After nearly a month on opposite sides of the world, Harm invited Mac to Jen and Mattie's new apartment, for popcorn and a movie. It was conveniently located, right next door to Harm. He was able to get Mattie settled into an acceptable living arrangement before he was sent to NLSO North Island in California. It seemed that, a JAG attorney was under investigation for conduct unbecoming, which included charges of tampering with evidence in a during an ongoing trial. Mac had been sent TAD for three weeks to the Seahawk. There had been an issue with the shipboard JAG and his commanding officer which took a week to settle and resulted in Mac's replacing him, temporarily, followed by a 2 week wait for the permanent shipboard JAG.

The evening was winding down and Harm could see that Mattie was stalling for time, asking Mac if she wanted to watch another movie.

Harm answered, before Mac had a chance to. "It's a school night, Matilda. Lets help Jen clean up and then, you, hit the rack."

"Hit the rack?" Mattie looked up at Harm curiously.

Coates chimed in, "It's sailors slang, for going to bed. You'll have to learn a whole new language, Mattie. You're almost a Navy brat."

Mattie liked the sound of that, though she didn't like it that Harm was gone so much. "Am I your brat, Harm?" She teased, as she surprised him with a goodnight 'peck' on the cheek.

He nodded the affirmative, still a bit shy with his affection, where Mattie was concerned.

Mattie was still teasing, as she picked up the bowls and glasses. "Thanks a lot, Harm."

Mac chimed in as she shrugged into her coat. "Don't worry Mattie, believe it or not, it's a term of endearment."

Mattie rolled her eyes, "Whatever you say."

Harm and Mac left them after they'd finished cleaning up and Mattie was settled in for the night.

They walked down the hallway, toward the elevator and Harm's apartment door.

Mac had a plan. While she was on the Seahawk, she'd mulled over every way she could think of, to tell Harm about their Harmoniousmatch connection. Then she worked it all out, the plan was perfect. She had a gift that she'd bought for Guardian in her purse. A gold key chain, with a small caution sign attached. Surely Harm would remember his teasing conversation with Paris about being cautious. He'd figure it out and have plenty of time to process how he felt about it, before she saw him again. The passing of time, while they were both away, made it difficult at times to push the nagging worry away.

What if he was angry with her? But, there was no turning back now.

Just as they reached his door, he surprised her, when he gently took her hand and pulled her into his arms. It was an affectionate hug. It was sweet, like a shared happiness. With reluctance, released her after just a few seconds.

"Thank you, Mac." He looked into her eyes wanting to say so much more.

"You don't have to keep thanking me, Harm. I told you, I was happy to do it."

Harm looked down at their still clasped hands and then away, anywhere but at her.

"I know." He didn't want her to see that he'd just wanted to hold her close. He'd missed her, they hadn't been in the office at the same time for over 3 weeks.

Mac thought she could see how he felt and knew she'd better go, she wanted to be sure that Harm knew all about Paris, before they took their relationship any further.

She released his hand and reached into her bag, removing the small box that held 'Guardian's' gift.

"I brought you something. I meant to give this to you at Christmas, but we both became so busy around the holiday and after, that I never had the chance.

"Mac….I didn't get anything for you. I didn't think I should." He took the small box, wrapped in gold paper, tied with green ribbon.

"Webb is in the past, Harm. Lets just leave him and Paraguay behind us, okay?'

Harm didn't speak, but his head came up quickly, _Webb is in the past?_

"You and Webb are…over?"

Mac smiled without humor, "We never really got started." but then, she looked up at him, her eyes pleading. "I don't want to talk about it…okay?"

"Sure….that's fine, but….you okay?"

"I'll be fine, if you don't say 'I told you so.'

Harm smiled sheepishly, she was right, he would have, in another time. "I wont.

Mac could see his eyes light with satisfaction and if she hadn't been so relieved she and Webb were over, she might have slugged him.

"I should go."

"Are you sure?" Harm had hoped she might come in for awhile.

"Yes, I'll see you in the morning."

Harm went inside, happy, but slightly puzzled. When had Mac and Webb broken up? He dropped the gift she'd given him on his bed and headed for the shower. He was curious about what was inside, but he was just so glad she'd thought of him, that he didn't really care.

After his shower settled in to bed, to opened his gift. He peeled back the wrapping and opened the box. He lifted out the keychain and held it in the palm of his hand. It was in the shape road sign, a Caution sign.

_Caution?_

It was a nice key chain, but he didn't get why she'd given him that particular one. He'd ask her in the morning. It had been a long day and he had a lot to think about.

As he drifted off to sleep the thought of the key chain, still niggled at the back of his mind and then suddenly, it came to him where he'd heard the word cautious, over and over again.

I'm just being cautious.

He sat bolt upright in bed and said aloud.

"Paris….Mac is Paris."

TBC

A/N: Yes…I know, you REALLY hate me.(smirk)


	7. Chapter 7

-1Harmoniousmatch Dot Com

Chapter 7/7

A/N: This chapter takes place during the events of The People vs. SecNav. Keep in mind that dates and sequence of events are different from what we saw in Season 9.

A/N: I humbly apologize for the delay in posting. Life, family visits and the all the events of last week, got me…but I'm back on track!

0810

January 30, 2004

JAG Headquarters

Mac sat at her desk, busying herself, trying to distract herself so that Harm wouldn't see her watching for his arrival. She'd hoped he might call, after opening Guardian's gift, but he had not. Was he angry with her, had he even opened the gift? What the heck was going on?

Just then, as though her thoughts of him willed it, Harm stepped into the bullpen, causing Mac to swing her chair around to face her computer screen.

Harm saw that Mac was in her office, and that she'd been looking for him. He wasn't sure how he intended to approach this situation. He smirked as he thought that this could only happen to them. It had taken a long time to sleep last night. He wasn't sorry that Mac knew that he was in love with her, but he wasn't really sure how he felt about her not telling him who she was.

He wasn't angry, but the whole situation left him feeling as though she'd gotten something over on him and in the interest of fair play and fun, he certainly wasn't going to leave it at that.

When she turned to look at him as he walked up to her open door, he could see that she was a more than a little anxious.

"Hey" He was trying to keep his expression, neutral, but hadn't quite succeeded.

"Hey, yourself."

He looked at her for a moment, and the longer he looked, the more disconcerted Mac became.

"Anything on your mind?" She asked, trying to appear detached and unconcerned.

Harm considered his answer, "Not….really."

Mac was disconcerted for a moment, thinking…_Didn't he open the gift?_

"Are you sure?"

Then, it occurred to him exactly what he would do. He would put a slight delay on telling Mac what he knew. All in the interest of justice, of course.

"You know, I think I should give you a gift too." He leaned on the frame of the door.

"It's okay, Harm. You really shouldn't feel obligated to…"

Harm waved her off. "Its not an obligation. I think its only fair…that I give you, what you gave me."

Harm's expression was sly, and but there was something very familiar in it, something seductive, though as far as Mac knew, the conversation didn't call for it. Which only added to her confusion.

"So you're not going to open your gift, until you get me…something?"

Harm smiled, in response, silently appreciating Mac's giving him an out.

"Something like that."

Mac frowned slightly and shook her head, puzzled and more than a little frustrated that this masquerade was continuing. She wanted everything out in the open, now. Maybe she should just tell him…..at the end of the day.

He turned to leave, satisfied that he'd planted the seed, now all he had to do was wait until tomorrow. He almost felt guilty about her confusion. Almost but not quite. So, all things being equal…… "Hey, want some coffee?"

"Yeah, that would be great." _What could he be up to? _

Harm was back in a few moments with their coffee. He was being so nice, and attentive. He seemed so content and satisfied with himself. She supposed fatherhood really did agree with him. He sat down in the chair in front of her desk, apparently, just to talk, as they used to, before all the craziness of Paraguay had divided them.

They talked about Mattie, about how lucky he'd been that Coates was willing to take an apartment in his building. He talked about how trying Mattie could be, but Mac could see it that he loved every minute of taking care of her. There was something else there, though, in his eyes, something warm and magnetic that she just couldn't put her finger on.

Just then, the Admiral stopped at Mac's open office door, on his way to his office. Both officers began to stand to their feet.

"Stand easy…. Glad I caught both of you. I need to see you, this morning, before staff call." His expression was unreadable, but it was clear, something was up.

"Yes, sir" they both answered.

Harm and Mac looked at each other for a moment. This was serious.

In short order, they were both standing in front of the Admiral, in his office.

"The USS Enterprise launched an air strike into Iraq, in support of Marines pinned down by enemy fire, near a hospital in Tikifa. The collateral damage included destruction of a hospital with 32 civilians dead.

"As a result, the Athens Bar has filed charges against the Secretary of the Navy, the Secretary of Defense an the President in the International Criminal Court at the Hague."

Mac swallowed hard, this was going to be a hornets nest of the first order. "Sir, we don't recognize the International Criminal Court."

The Admiral nodded his agreement "That's true, we withdrew from the Treaty of Rome, in 1998, but….the SecNav convinced the President that allowing himself to be tried in the Hague, would be a gesture of good will and a means to reach out to the international community."

Mac didn't like this, for a number of reasons. But when she looked at Harm, she recognized the gleam in his eye, and knowing him, he'd be champing at the bit to get started. This was just great. Harmoniousmatch, Paris and Guardian would have to take a back seat to this case.

All thought of the personal faded away in the following days, full of briefings by the Justice, State and Defense departments. They were also summoned to the White House for another briefing with one of the Presidents advisors.

Because of all of the things that had to be accomplished before they accompanied the SecNav to the Hague, time for a personal conversation became non-existent. But for Harm, there were times when he would look up from a file to find Mac studying him. There were even times when he was making a point about strategy, when Mac would look at him in such a way that he found it difficult to stay on topic. Just when Harm thought he might ask her what was on her mind, she would look away, or begin a conversation that focused on the task at hand. As though she was making it clear, now was not the time.

Even so, Harm was sure of one thing, that Mac was wondering if he'd opened his gift, or if he knew about 'Paris.' He thought he saw something more as well. Was he the 'possibility' she spoke of, on line? There were times when she looked at him that he'd have sworn he was.

Once they'd arrived at the Hague, events seemed to happen at hyper-speed, until the night Bud came into the common area of their suite, telling them that Little AJ was missing.

Everything, in that moment came to a screeching halt. Bud was still in shock as he left them, they all were. Bud was so affected that they both were wondering if he would make it back to DC, in one piece.

_Later that evening…._

Harm and Mac sat on the sofa in the sitting area of their suite. Harm was still in his uniform, but without the jacket and tie. Mac had removed her jacket as well. They'd been working to organize everything Bud left them and prepare for the next days testimony. They had just finished, there was nothing left to do but go to court. The pressure on them had been enormous, the whole world seemed to be watching the outcome of this trial, but tonight, now that the last of their case preparation was complete, all either of them could think of was their godson.

"He's going to be alright, Mac."

He reached over, placed his hand on her forearm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Mac nodded slightly. "I hope so, I keep thinking about the day he was born. I cant imagine what Bud and Harriet must be going through."

Harm leaned in more closely to her. "We have to believe he'll be alright, that he'll be found." He looked deeply into her eyes, and even though he was giving her the reassurance she needed, she could see that he was worried too. She felt a strong impulse to lean into him, to feel his arms around her, not only for her comfort, but for his as well. The feeling was so strong and unsettling that she stood and stretched her arms and legs.

""Tired?' Harm's eyes followed her, as she walked across the room.

"Not really. I'm wide awake, in fact."

"I know, I'm not sure how much sleep we'll be getting tonight." Then Harm realized how suggestive that might have sounded. "I mean, me, it will be hard to sleep until we know something."

Mac chuckled, "I knew what you meant, Harm. And we both better get some sleep. We're trying what could be, the most important case of both of our careers, tomorrow morning."

"We're ready Mac. We've done all the preparation we can, if we're not ready now, we never will be." Harm gave her a look, full of such conviction, that she immediately felt reassured and ready for their day in court.

Mac nodded. "You're right."

She padded across the room in her stocking feet, thinking that she might order room service. Anything to take her mind off of the fact that they were all alone in this suite and would be all night.

"Are you hungry?"

Harm gave her an amused grin, "Not really." Mac's appetite never ceased to amaze him. In nearly every circumstance they'd ever been involved in, Mac could always eat…and not gain an unwanted pound. If anything she looked slimmer than she was a year ago. Being this close to her, spending all this time with her had allowed him a chance to look at her more closely and as usual, he liked what he saw.

"How about something…like tea…toast? Coffee….chocolate?" She turned to look at him, her eyebrows raised, in question.

"Nothing for me, order if you want to, but I think I'd avoid the coffee and the chocolate, if I were you. You really will be awake all night."

"Tea and toast, then….for two." Mac was teasing him, it had been good to be with him, today and every day since this case had begun. They hadn't worked this closely in a long time, without a cross word between them.

She'd made her way to the telephone table and picked up the receiver, when she happened to notice Harm's keys, lying next to the phone. A bright yellow square caught her eye and she lifted the keys. It was 'Guardian's' key chain.

She turned, holding the keychain in front of her, so that the 'Caution' sign dangled from the end of the gold key chain.

Harm was placing some of the files into his briefcase and heard, rather than saw her approaching, "You know, you didn't have to get me anything…"

Then he looked up at her and the little yellow sign, immediately caught his eye. He went silent.

"Harm." She said his name quietly, her voice and expression, giving away nothing.

"Hmmm?" He answered, his eyes wide with innocence and not a little mischief.

"I thought you hadn't opened your gift."

"Well….technically,_ you _said I wanted to wait until I bought your gift. I just went along with you and let you draw your own conclusions."

Mac's eyes narrowed, "Technically?'

"Yes, technically…._Paris, _when I realized that you were Paris and that I'd been talking to you on line, for some time, without knowing who you were."

At the mention of her on line name, Mac's expression changed immediately. "Harm, I swear, I didn't know until…you came and asked for my help with Mattie. You didn't give me time to explain… why I was so stunned, I didn't know where to begin. Then, after I testified in court, I wanted to tell you, but you had Mattie with you. You were both so upset…I thought….And then later, when I brought Mattie to you at the Wall."

"You had a date?"

"I did, sort of. Webb asked to see me on Christmas Eve, at the last minute and I took that opportunity to tell him that things weren't going to work out with us. I thought I owed it to Webb to tell him face to face."

"I see, and all the things I told someone I knew as, IParis/I about you? Something pretty personal….private…"

"I had no way of knowing what you were going to say. And anyway, tell the truth Harm, would have ever told me?"

"I didn't think I had the right to say anything. You were with Webb." His penetrating gaze was searching her out, throwing down the gauntlet.

"So…why didn't you tell me….after?'

Harm lounged back on the sofa and extended his arm across its top. "You mean when I opened _Guardian's _gift? To be perfectly honest, I thought I might wait a day, just to even the playing field, You had the advantage. You knew how I felt about you, but I didn't really know anything about how you felt about me." His expression changed from one of mischief and playfulness, to one of uneasiness and question.

His tone of voice changed, he spoke in a low and quiet voice, "I planned on telling you, everything, but" He gestured to their case work on the various tables in the room. "I got a little sidetracked."

Mac looked at him, understanding, but still feeling wary of him. She averted her eyes but not before Harm read the uncertainty of in them. Before he realized what he was doing, he was on his feet and standing in front of her, in seconds.

In a voice that was deep and tender, he asked her. "How _do_ you feel, Mac…..about me?"

Slowly she tilted her face up, looking up at him, searching his eyes for some hint that she had something to fear, but there was nothing. Nothing but love.

Mac swallowed, her throat suddenly dry, "I….love you, Harm."

As he looked down at her, upon hearing her words, Harm closed his eyes, in relief, in thanksgiving, this was everything he'd hoped for and thought he'd lost.

Mac raised up on tip toe and softly kissed his lower lip.

Harm's eyes opened slightly and he watched her, kissing him, with delight shining from beneath his hooded eyes. When she opened her mouth to take his top lip between hers, he closed his eyes and fit his mouth to hers, deepening the kiss.

Their bodies were inches apart, but they did not touch, except when Mac reached up to stroke his cheek, as though she were trying to take more of him in.

When he broke the kiss, she whispered, _it works better if you put your arms around me._

He leaned back from her slightly, arching a brow, "You sure?" There was a cautionary note in that sensual tone of voice.

She nodded before saying "Yes…I'm sure. Not being cautious, are you?" She trailed a hand from the middle of his chest, up around his neck.

His smile was sweet and seductive as he let his hands slide half way down her arms, "I'm no chicken." But then, his body betrayed him as he leaned in more closely, Mac could his heartbeat speed up, beneath her hands. But to be fair, they were both nearly out of their minds with their long hidden, feelings for each other. He rested both hands at her waist, touching his forehead to hers, taking pleasure in the feel of her, close to him. Then, as though he couldn't wait another moment, he tilted her face up to his and hungrily covered her mouth with his own. He lifted her up, closed his arms around her back and pulled her tightly to him, knowing he'd never be close enough.

Allowing himself to love Mac was a challenge he was finally ready for, finally worthy of and he wasn't going to waste another minute, waiting for the right time. Their time was now, here, in this room with the trial of their lives awaiting them. with all their responsibilities, with their fears about little AJ, with the world waiting…

Their time was now.

Epilogue to follow.


	8. Chapter 8

-1Harmoniousmatch DotCom

Epilogue

2130

April 30, 2004

Harm's apartment

North of Union Station

Mac lay across Harm's bed, with her lap top open, catching up on her e mail while was finishing up his shower. One subject caught her eye right away.

_Hello and congratulations!_

She opened the message.

_Ms. Mackenzie,_

_Just wanted to pass along our congratulations to you upon your engagement to your 'perfect' match, found on none other than Harmoniousmatch DotCom!_

_We recently received an e mail from your perfect mate, thanking us for bringing the two of you together and informing us of your upcoming nuptials. It is so great to know our service is succeeding in bringing _

_the right people together._

_Sandra Brown_

_Director of Customer Inquiries_

_Harmoniousmatch DotCom_

Mac read the message at least three times before she made her way into the bathroom. Harm was humming, soaping himself up when Mac startled him.

"Hey….wanna join me?" He grinned at her through a soapy mask.

"Oh, you're cute, but no thanks. Um… I just got an e mail from Harmoniousmatch."

Harm turned to rinse the soap off of his face.

"Do you know anything about that, Harm?"

He looked back at her, blinking the water from his eyes. "I might."

"You…might?"

"Hey, I cant answer if I don't know what the message was about. What did it say?"

Mac stood with her arms folded in front of her chest. "You know very well, what it said."

Mac made the mistake of stepping to closely to the open door of the shower when she made her last statement and Harm reached out and pulled her completely inside the shower.

He grinned devilishly, "Maybe."

"Harm!" Mac t shirt and shorts were immediately soaked. "My clothes….my hair!"

He pulled her body, flush with his. "You're beautiful…and you know it. Besides, that's my t-shirt and you don't need those shorts. Marry me Mac."

Mac mouth flew open, "You're proposing….now?"

"I'm proposing. Marry me….make an honest man out of me."

"An honest man….not a sneaky man…who proposes…indirectly, by e mail."

Harm was serious for a moment. "I had to give you a chance to get used to the idea, before I asked you, seriously."

Mac pushed her wet hair back from her face and smiled at him, warmly "You mean I'm going to have to tell our grandchildren you proposed in the shower?"

He pulled her more closely to him, "You have to admit….its original. What do you say?

Mac thought for a moment, knowing she'd like nothing better than to marry him. IWhat the hell?/I

"You only had to ask."

"Yes?" Harm raised his brows hopefully.

"Yes." She slipped her arms up around his neck.

He leaned down until he was eye to eye with her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I think we should celebrate." He hitched an eyebrow up slightly.

"Would this celebration include leaving the apartment….or staying here."

"Staying here….definitely staying here." He began peeling her out of her wet clothes.

And just before he took her back into his arms, Mac thought of what she might say to Harmoniousmatch.

"To Whom it May Concern…..you're never going to believe this, but after almost 9 years….."

FIN


End file.
